Today was a really messy day for me, it just felt like everything was everywhere. Well its been like that for the past few days now, with my heavy head and heavy heart, then today after seeing the vision that God gave me, it made me feel even worse. I guess all of this has been because of a build up of certain issues in my life these past few days. Main reasons were that some of my prayer request seem like empty bullets, and with all these cell changing things going on, and on top of that to juggle with work and Uni has been pretty hard for me. But my main concern was that God wasn't hearing me. Especially since during easter camp Ps Ardian gave me a word saying that God wants me to speak to Him, that He has ears and wants me to just share everything to Him. So here i am, constantly praying and talking to God, telling Him all my problems, and desires. And on the other hand not getting anything from Him! One of the major things that i've been praying for in my life is that God will just reveal Himself to me, that i may have a 'true' encounter with Him. Then today at worshipNet, i felt that we were so close to getting to see more of God but we didn't cause we weren't hungry enough, so that made me feel more frustrated/depressed/upset.
Then during the afternoon, Su called me up and ask if Henry and I would want to go over to Sam's place for a time of sharing/worship/prayer. So i went over and i told my vision to them, then Su said that she also had a vision, but God had specifically told her not to share it till i shared mine. So after i shared mine, Su shared hers which was remarkably similar. Then we had a time of prayer with Sam on the grand piano(which sounded awesome), and as we were praying i felt God reminding me of a few things.
First thing, what should i do if i prayer and don't get an answer? Keep on praying! I thought that since i've been praying for past few days and weeks, and haven't gotten any reply yet meant that God wasn't listening. On the contrary God wanted me to keep on praying, pressing in, persevering, and patiently waiting on Him. I believe that the thing God wanted to teach me here was patience. Many great Christians when they pray, some of them have to pray for months and even years before they get a reply from God. Here i am, having only prayed for a few days then feeling depressed, i believe that God is training me up to just have faith and trust in Him, to wait on Him wholeheartedly till i am ready.
Second thing, God has His own set of time for everything(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). God has His own set of plans for us, and they are good plans, because God is a good God. However to be part of that plan, we got to accept the conditions of the plan, which is to obey God and follow His timing. When the time is right, God will automatically reveal everything we need to know to us. That is because God's ways are higher than our ways, and His thought's are higher than our thoughts. So at the end of the day, all the have to do is to submit to God and abide by His timing.
After the prayer session which lasted almost 2hrs, i felt like a heavy burden in my heart and mind had been lifted. I realized that i had to fully on God's strength to pull through with God's plans. I learnt that whatever happens to us, all that matters is that we are obedient to what God wants us to do and we'll be fine. God has the best for us in mind and we should never try to comprehend and reason with God using our humanly wisdom.
For devotion, i decided to re-read up a part on what Anne shared during worshipNet.
Hebrews 3:15-19
15As has just been said:
"Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion."
16Who were they who heard and rebelled? Were they not all those Moses led out of Egypt? 17And with whom was he angry for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the desert? 18And to whom did God swear that they would never enter his rest if not to those who disobeyed? 19So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief.
Well the first thing that struck me was when Anne told us to circle the 'if' in verse 15. That dawned upon me that not everyone would get to hear God's voice, and it already is a privilege for us to hear God's voice. So may we not take that for granted. The next line it says to not harden our hearts. Why would we do that for? Thats because thats what the devil wants us to do, he will try to place doubts in our heart, telling us stuff like that wasn't God and we were just hearing stuff, or making us go against what God as told us to do. Pretty much is a warning to be careful of the devil, cause the moment God speaks to us, the devil will start throwing every spanner he has at us. Another thing that impacted me was verse 17, about the Israelites who wandered in the desert for 40 years because they had sinned and angered God. That made me reflect back on myself, and my prayers. Have i just been going round and round the desert because i have sinned against God? Is God angry at me and therefore making me go in circles? Well i tried to think of any sin that i might have committed and still prayed for forgiveness for anything that i might have done unknowingly. No doubt God's presence was with the Israelites, but He was still angry with them at the same time. So similarly, we may feel God's presence in our lives but he could also at the same time be angry at us for sinning against Him. Lastly, they couldn't enter because of their unbelief. God has made it very clear to us, that if we have any shred of unbelief or doubts in our hearts, He will NOT let us into the promise land, so it once again warns us to watch out for the devil, especially when he tries to place unbelief and doubt in our hearts to pull us away from God, which is his ultimate goal.
My God's not dead, He lives in me, i know its true, and i believe in You
Then during the afternoon, Su called me up and ask if Henry and I would want to go over to Sam's place for a time of sharing/worship/prayer. So i went over and i told my vision to them, then Su said that she also had a vision, but God had specifically told her not to share it till i shared mine. So after i shared mine, Su shared hers which was remarkably similar. Then we had a time of prayer with Sam on the grand piano(which sounded awesome), and as we were praying i felt God reminding me of a few things.
First thing, what should i do if i prayer and don't get an answer? Keep on praying! I thought that since i've been praying for past few days and weeks, and haven't gotten any reply yet meant that God wasn't listening. On the contrary God wanted me to keep on praying, pressing in, persevering, and patiently waiting on Him. I believe that the thing God wanted to teach me here was patience. Many great Christians when they pray, some of them have to pray for months and even years before they get a reply from God. Here i am, having only prayed for a few days then feeling depressed, i believe that God is training me up to just have faith and trust in Him, to wait on Him wholeheartedly till i am ready.
Second thing, God has His own set of time for everything(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). God has His own set of plans for us, and they are good plans, because God is a good God. However to be part of that plan, we got to accept the conditions of the plan, which is to obey God and follow His timing. When the time is right, God will automatically reveal everything we need to know to us. That is because God's ways are higher than our ways, and His thought's are higher than our thoughts. So at the end of the day, all the have to do is to submit to God and abide by His timing.
After the prayer session which lasted almost 2hrs, i felt like a heavy burden in my heart and mind had been lifted. I realized that i had to fully on God's strength to pull through with God's plans. I learnt that whatever happens to us, all that matters is that we are obedient to what God wants us to do and we'll be fine. God has the best for us in mind and we should never try to comprehend and reason with God using our humanly wisdom.
For devotion, i decided to re-read up a part on what Anne shared during worshipNet.
Hebrews 3:15-19
15As has just been said:
"Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion."
16Who were they who heard and rebelled? Were they not all those Moses led out of Egypt? 17And with whom was he angry for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the desert? 18And to whom did God swear that they would never enter his rest if not to those who disobeyed? 19So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief.
Well the first thing that struck me was when Anne told us to circle the 'if' in verse 15. That dawned upon me that not everyone would get to hear God's voice, and it already is a privilege for us to hear God's voice. So may we not take that for granted. The next line it says to not harden our hearts. Why would we do that for? Thats because thats what the devil wants us to do, he will try to place doubts in our heart, telling us stuff like that wasn't God and we were just hearing stuff, or making us go against what God as told us to do. Pretty much is a warning to be careful of the devil, cause the moment God speaks to us, the devil will start throwing every spanner he has at us. Another thing that impacted me was verse 17, about the Israelites who wandered in the desert for 40 years because they had sinned and angered God. That made me reflect back on myself, and my prayers. Have i just been going round and round the desert because i have sinned against God? Is God angry at me and therefore making me go in circles? Well i tried to think of any sin that i might have committed and still prayed for forgiveness for anything that i might have done unknowingly. No doubt God's presence was with the Israelites, but He was still angry with them at the same time. So similarly, we may feel God's presence in our lives but he could also at the same time be angry at us for sinning against Him. Lastly, they couldn't enter because of their unbelief. God has made it very clear to us, that if we have any shred of unbelief or doubts in our hearts, He will NOT let us into the promise land, so it once again warns us to watch out for the devil, especially when he tries to place unbelief and doubt in our hearts to pull us away from God, which is his ultimate goal.
My God's not dead, He lives in me, i know its true, and i believe in You
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