Wednesday, September 30, 2009
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yup, i've come to the conclusion that i need to get brainwashed by the Word of God. That's probably like the only way i will ever live my life God's way or even be like the 'perfect' Christian. For me to move forward and live out my destiny, the one thing that must happen first is for God really to be in control of not just my life, but to be in control of everything. In the daily choices i make, the words that i speak, thoughts that go through my mind, and things that i just do at every second of the day. I rather be a zombie that fulfils and be all that God wants me to be, than to be my fleshly self who gets to do everything my way, and at the end of the day getting no where.
What i find interesting is that God gave us a freedom of choice to allow us to choose how we want to live our life, basically two ways to live. But what comes after that is a million other little daily choices on how we live our life that ultimately depends which path we really choose to walk down. I've never been good with making decisions, and one reason would be that there's a high possibility that the decisions i make are never the best ones available, sometimes even the worst.. So the question is, is it possible for me to not have this freedom of choice, and let God be the one who is in control of everything, be in control of everything? I find it easier accepting whatever gets thrown at me compared to me choosing the way I want to live.
God, don't let me be like Jonah who at the start ran away from Your calling.
1 Tim 2
3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
We know that it is God's desire for all to be saved, but we know that it is not possible too. because it is said in Matthew 24:9-11[NIV]
9"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people.
There will be a great falling away, this is what Jesus had said of His second coming..We are working towards making His name sound through all the earth, but still, in the end, we will be hated, and persecuted, and many will turn against one another. That's a pretty big job to take on if you ask me, considering the outcome is one that will cause such sadness and grief.
Lord, give me strength to live this day, and help me forget not Heb 10:26!
Monday, September 28, 2009
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so i've been reeaaally lazy the past week, which isnt good at all., not forgetting the fact that its holidays and ive been sleeping at a muuch later time and waking up at an even later time, i gotta admit that it didnt really help me in my devotion at all. So no more of that this week as im gonna be more disciplined, and i also cant afford to waste much time as the work load seems to be piling up.
on saturday as i was working, i realised that one of the best things to do while working was to listen to sermons. not only did it take my mind of work and how boring it was, it became a time of just learning more of God through His Word, feeling His presence at my place of work, and for me a time of great conviction. my ipod shuffled it's way to the generation church conference '07, and i listened to sermons preached by people like Judah Smith, TD Jakes, and a few other really good preachers.
However there was this one preacher, who i couldn't even remember what he was preaching about, but there was just 1 thing he said which literally convicted me and struck fear in me. He made reference to Heb 10:26, which wasn't even his main topic, but something mentioned it as a passing statement.
Heb 10:26-29
26 For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries. 28 Anyone who has rejected Moses’ law dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace?
hmm running out of time, but v26 pretty much stared me in the face, and showed me how my whole life was just wrong..
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
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God this is so frustrating, and it hurts.. been such a fool. Don't even know what i should do anymore, but i just pray that the decisions and choices i make are the right ones..but there really isn't anything to lose anymore. It's serious time for change because my current self isn't getting my anywhere but getting caught up in the world, and its so pointless. I guess this is goodbye to myself, and it was nice knowing me..
I think for me it was meant to be this way, the battles i fight are battles for one, because God you are all i need. My life, in your hands, once again.
2 Thess 2
13 But we are bound to give thanks to God always for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God from the beginning chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth, 14 to which He called you by our gospel, for the obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. 15 Therefore, brethren, stand fast and hold the traditions which you were taught, whether by word or our epistle.
16 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, 17 comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work.
Thank you Lord for bringing me this far, and I know that you've been with me in every step of my life. Thank you for choosing me, believing in me, and calling me to your side. Help me to stand fast upon your word, and the truth that is in you, that i may overcome any obstacle, barrier or wall that stands in my way. You are my Father, King, Shepard, Saviour, Redeemer, Lord, and above all, my best friend. In you alone do I find peace, comfort, shelter, refuge, and joy which is my strength. So lead me Lord on this path of righteousness, maturing me through the trials and testing, that ultimately I can bring glory to Your name.
leaving the past and all that it held, behind..
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
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God i pray that you'll give me strength to live this life, perseverance to run this race, and faith to do it your way. Lord give me a resolution that is tougher than any metal, not falling behind getting lost anymore.. No matter what the cost, i will go for you
Friday, September 11, 2009
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is life just this one big masquerade party? there always seems to be so much more than what meets the eye.. pushing it or shrugging things off don't seem to work for me, i can't keep fooling myself and expect everything to be the way we see it to be.
Need God to give me some direction, or wisdom!
To see beyond the physical and into the spiritual, because that's what we're all about..
Monday, September 7, 2009
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Blllarrggghhhh! somehow i feel like puking everything inside of me out.. haha
had a really good weekend, but the fun was short lived and everything felt like it passed by so fast. It felt like a dream, but now i'm back in reality and returning to a place called the university. bah, im slowly starting to feel tired..of just everything.
well, on the bright side, ps catherine gave a great sermon last night which taught me more about having God's joy in trials.. who doesn't face trials? and who wouldn't need God's joy when facing one? some things are inevitable, and they're there always for a reason and for a purpose. we aren't able to change to circumstances nor the situation, however what we can change is the outcome and the results of how things are gonna end. It is exactly the same as how we can't change others, but what we can do in our power, is to change ourselves. The way i see it, many things in my life are out of my control, but what i can do is to by myself give the best that i have.. it will come to a stage where the song that we sing isn't our song anymore, not one that is written or composed by us, but ultimately one that God has written for us.
I think it's time to move on..
1 Thess 5
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.
7 short verses, but each holding a command for us to live by and to follow. there's something about v20 that really hits me..
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
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"Standing here in Your presence
thinking of the good things You have done
waiting here patiently
just to hear Your still small voice again
Holy, righteous, faithful to the end,
Saviour, healer, redeemer, and friend"
feels great being free! however freedom comes at a price, and what did it cost us? whatever the cost may be, it sure is worth every last bit of it!
Current Status: a live and moving target
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
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All i can say is thank God for friends, and thank God for putting them in our lives. looking at a loong week ahead!
1 Thess 5
9 For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ,
10 who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him.
11 Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
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