Thursday, July 30, 2009
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ugghh.. uni has only started for a week, and already so many problems has popped up.. my week hasn't been looking good, let alone other things.. feeling so 'lost' at the moment because things keep changing on a daily basis, can't even tell what's going to happen tomorrow..just praying and knowing that the following weeks will be much better and things will be different this time. Trusting in God for the change in my life, and in my uni life.. i need to start fixing my focus once more not on my problems or circumstances or whatever bad news that comes my way, but really on what Christ has done for us and what He can do. Let hope and faith arise in me!! There's nothing that cannot be overcome and nothing that can stand in my way.
spiritual encounter was a new beginning for me i would say. i was drained from all the uni and things of this world so easily, and just being at the encounter totally renewed me and refreshed, and brought me back to the right perspective of looking at life. Although ive been to quite a few spiritual encounters, this one as usual seemed totally different to the others, and what spoke to me in this spiritual encounter was also different from the others. One thing that always gets me after the spiritual encounter is always the weight and depth that sin carries along with it, and especially watching the passion of the Christ video again, it made me realise yet again that it was OUR sins that pinned Christ on that cross.. taught me to hate sin and see how deadly it was.. with sin in our lives, we are considered as dead in God's eyes.
Another thing that really spoke to me was the verse which said that if we are friends of this world, we are enemies of God(can't really remember the ref.) And i found this to be more of an eye opener, something new that i've never heard of before. This made me think a lot on how i lived my life, and my thoughts of just being friends with everyone was gonna be ok. This made me realise that i had to take a firm stand on one side, and that sitting on the fence between both sides won't do me any good at all.. However a lot of the things that i do, is based out of habit that i have gotten over the years of growing up in the 'world', and many times i don't even know that what i am doing is wrong! Its scary how ignorance doesn't pardon you from sin, just because you don't know it doesn't make you safe! it is our job after all to study the Word which was given to us.
During this spiritual encounter i also received a word from God from one of the pastors when i was up on one of the alter calls.. and the word that was given to me wasn't really much of a surprise or a shock to me because it was something that has been said to me before.. and maybe even more than once. it was something along the lines of me stepping out of my shadow. and when i asked for the explanation, it simply meant for me to be bold and to make noticed by other people, like by putting myself out there.. For me i wouldn't say this was something new, but what im not too sure about is what i have do after receiving this word. im still totally clueless, and also partly because i don't see the point of me making myself to be noticed by others.. boldness in what sense??
Eph 1:18
18 the eyes of your understanding being enlightened;
SPIRITUAL ENCOUNTER, BRING IT ON!
GOD, HERE I COME!!
Col 1
9 For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; 12 giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.
15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. 17 And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.
ohh boy, results are coming out tmr and im fully nervous because i know that i didnt really do too well in my exams haha.. relying on God to push me to a pass! my heart always skips a beat whenever i think about the possibility of results that i'll get. praying for the best for all commerce students in out church too!
Php 4:11-12
11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
yea i found these 2 verses to be really interesting..to be content in whatever state you are in..and in v12, to be both full and hungry, to abound and to suffer in need. its kinda contradictory, like its easy yet tough at the same time.. to be hungry yet full at the same time, i guess is a feeling that you get when you're satisfied with how far you've come, but know that you still can go even further? and to be in abundance yet at the same time to suffer in need is something i can't really say i can understand because i dont think ive ever felt that way.. so far at least.. maybe when i start working full-time. Anyway this just got me thinking for the spiritual encounter, that no matter how filled or full of the Holy Spirit you may be, there can always be room for more. You can never have too much of the Holy Spirit in your life! Gotta be hungry for more!
-=CHANGE IN PROGRESS=-
that's right! God is doing a new work in me, and i am being changed from the inside out! time to make way for a new me. I've learnt much over this weekend because of the 2 great messages that was preached both on fri night, and this morning.. on not settling for second best, and about desiring to be better! Also learnt that there are some things that we can't change, and we need God to do it for us. God is changing me in areas that i alone am not able, and i know that what He has in plan for me is for the best. Change is happening, and i know that i need it!
Jeremiah 29:13
13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
haha this is such an awesome verse, it should be like one of the main verses for the spiritual encounter. it pretty much sums up everything we need to do when we are seeking God. Getting pumped for encounter! its gonna be deep and personal! Just God and I..no pride, and nothing else.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
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hah awesome, tonight was definitely a great way to gear up for spiritual encounter, it already feels like it! personally, worship was great, though it could have been better haha..but the presence of God right after worship seemed so strong, or maybe i was just more sensitive. It was one of those days where you get feeling of excitement, and the feeling of His strong presence just rushes through your veins and your all alert and pumped up! then ps anne gave a really good sharing, one that i think was really spirit led and it really spoke to me. more like one of those messages that go straight to your heart. by the end of it i just felt so 'in my place' and really began to see things much more clearly and really got back into the place of receiving from God whatever He wants to give. For a second i almost let my pride get the better of me, but i realised that i am nothing, except a tool that is to be used by God.. this whole life really, isnt about me nor what i want, but ultimately about God.
Im going to the spiritual encounter, knowing and expecting for my personal encounter with God. one that will indeed change my life for the better permanently.
It's time to go back :)
sigh faill, im moving so slowy.. its seems like my speed is even slower than that of a snail, and nothing seems to be working. or maybe im just not trying hard enough? road block again? >.<
oh well, definitely looking forward to the worship night tmr. its gonna be a time where they'll be such freedom and liberty in the sanctuary that everyone who goes will be able to just worship they're heart out. its gonna be a good way to get ready for the spiritual encounter which is just gonna knock us off our feet, which is a definite must in my case.
Php 4
7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
definitely gonna need guarding of my heart and of my mind!
yea, been pretty busy/lazy in posting the past few days, can already feel the holiday mood coming over me. My biggest concern or worry in the holidays is me wasting time, soo gotta make sure i minimize that this time.
Php 3
12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
i remember that in the last spiritual encounter, this whole thing on pressing on and seeking God were of high importance. Example, in the alter calls, a lot of it was just us responding to the call, and while up at the alter, we sought after God and really had to press in into His presence. I remember sessions where the alter calls would be really long, and if your not focused, you could easily be distracted or just give up totally on the thing that you were praying for. Many times when there's this great message that's being preached, or something that God is revealing to us through His word, many times what we initially see is just tip of the iceberg, and we will only be able to see or understand the full picture when we press into God and really like how Jacob wrestled with the angel and refuse to give up until you receive what you set out to achieve. I strongly believe that many times, you will only receive what you are really desperate for, and that our faith is seen best in desperate situations. One question that i normally ask myself is how badly do i want it?
For this upcoming spiritual encounter, im sure everyone would go having expectations and desires, and prayers to be met and answered. But then, we/i have to check and first see how badly we really want it..
Where i am now? and where am i supposed to be?
yesss!! exams are over! definitely something off my mind.. time to turn myself back into a normal human and not some kind of zombie that just studies. Next thing on the list of prayer points would now be the results haha.. in all things, i still have to thank God for bringing me through yet another semester! all by the grace of God,and is to God's glory :)
Im eagerly anticipating spiritual encounter which will be in 2 weeks time! Just thinking of the one we had last year, and the one at g12 in singapore, i cannot even begin to imagine the possibilities of even crazier things happening this upcoming one. I know that for myself, i definitely wont be in the same that i was in in the previous encounter, but will definitely still be hungry, thirsty, and on fire for God.. its the same feelings, but like on a different level!
anyways its time to rest up and recover lost sleep, and start earnestly seeking God and preparing myself for the upcoming weeks!
yes last exam is today.. cant wait to get over it! time to get the creative juices flowing, gonna really need God to just place ideas and answers in my head this time haha..
Php 3:3
3 For we are the circumcision, who worship God in the Spirit, rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh,
To rejoice in the Lord, and have no confidence in the flesh. Confidence and trust in our great God! Everything is gonna be alright.
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