Wednesday, October 14, 2009
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hmm something is wrong with me, been sleeping too much and waking up really late. gotta fix myself, and this weird sleeping pattern. Ok i gotta set today to be a productive day for my studies, and also to be focused on God. taking it one step at a time.
2 tim 2
8 Remember that Jesus Christ, of the seed of David, was raised from the dead according to my gospel, 9 for which I suffer trouble as an evildoer, even to the point of chains; but the word of God is not chained.
it's great to know that though many times i get chained or restricted by things around me, situations, circumstances, or even words that people say..the word of God that we run with and hold onto is not chained. My body is physical, and the world i live in is physical, but what we aim for is something spiritual and it cannot be bound by the things of our time. So although its common for me to fail, it is totally impossible for the word to fail. It's just a great reminder that we who are weak have something firm and solid to hold onto, something that we can rely on and knowing that it is always be there, staying the same no matter what may happen here on this earth. His word is our hope that keeps us going.. May that be the case for me too.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
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rawr its been a while, and i've been pretty lazy. dont really have an excuse anymore since all my assignments are done and i shouldn't be sleeping at weird hours in the morning. Just to add to my sorta journal i guess on things to thank God for and what He's done in my life over the past week, one of them is my subjects for next year at uni where i was worried i won't be able to graduate by end of next year because sometimes courses are only offered in semester1 or semester 2 only. and basically that could have held me back for another year and would have me into lots of trouble. So thank God that my subjects for next year is all looking fine. Then Ps Ardian and his family came over, although it seems like ages away it was actually just the weekend before, and he gave me stuff to think about again, but overall was really refreshing and encouraging so praise God.
Just to add something else, my mind has been pretty uneasy and all these thoughts keep popping into my head, i dont know if they're good or bad, or if they're meant to tell me something. Sometimes it feels that yup everything is fine and will work out, but then sometimes it just becomes a complete mess and it leaves me lost and confused. Then i have the occasional 'lets plan for the future', and realise that there's a high chance that i won't be here for very long, so i start to weigh options and think to myself, whats the point? But at the end of the day, it's all up to God and whatever He has planned for my life. I pray that i can keep focused on my work at hand, and not getting caught up in things which i shouldnt be involved in.. trying to cut all emotional bonds so that i won't get too emotionally attached, it'l probably for the best.
2 Timothy 2
1 You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2 And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. 3 You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 4 No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.
I asked myself how can i be strong in the grace? no idea, but being strong is what i definitely need to be now because exams are coming up! must not be entangled in affairs of this life because it will easily weigh me down..and yes i must aim to be entwined with Christ, Ps catherine shared that and it has been on my mind ever since.
feels like im lost in transition, stuck between seasons.. i need some direction!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
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yup, i've come to the conclusion that i need to get brainwashed by the Word of God. That's probably like the only way i will ever live my life God's way or even be like the 'perfect' Christian. For me to move forward and live out my destiny, the one thing that must happen first is for God really to be in control of not just my life, but to be in control of everything. In the daily choices i make, the words that i speak, thoughts that go through my mind, and things that i just do at every second of the day. I rather be a zombie that fulfils and be all that God wants me to be, than to be my fleshly self who gets to do everything my way, and at the end of the day getting no where.
What i find interesting is that God gave us a freedom of choice to allow us to choose how we want to live our life, basically two ways to live. But what comes after that is a million other little daily choices on how we live our life that ultimately depends which path we really choose to walk down. I've never been good with making decisions, and one reason would be that there's a high possibility that the decisions i make are never the best ones available, sometimes even the worst.. So the question is, is it possible for me to not have this freedom of choice, and let God be the one who is in control of everything, be in control of everything? I find it easier accepting whatever gets thrown at me compared to me choosing the way I want to live.
God, don't let me be like Jonah who at the start ran away from Your calling.
1 Tim 2
3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
We know that it is God's desire for all to be saved, but we know that it is not possible too. because it is said in Matthew 24:9-11[NIV]
9"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people.
There will be a great falling away, this is what Jesus had said of His second coming..We are working towards making His name sound through all the earth, but still, in the end, we will be hated, and persecuted, and many will turn against one another. That's a pretty big job to take on if you ask me, considering the outcome is one that will cause such sadness and grief.
Lord, give me strength to live this day, and help me forget not Heb 10:26!
Monday, September 28, 2009
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so i've been reeaaally lazy the past week, which isnt good at all., not forgetting the fact that its holidays and ive been sleeping at a muuch later time and waking up at an even later time, i gotta admit that it didnt really help me in my devotion at all. So no more of that this week as im gonna be more disciplined, and i also cant afford to waste much time as the work load seems to be piling up.
on saturday as i was working, i realised that one of the best things to do while working was to listen to sermons. not only did it take my mind of work and how boring it was, it became a time of just learning more of God through His Word, feeling His presence at my place of work, and for me a time of great conviction. my ipod shuffled it's way to the generation church conference '07, and i listened to sermons preached by people like Judah Smith, TD Jakes, and a few other really good preachers.
However there was this one preacher, who i couldn't even remember what he was preaching about, but there was just 1 thing he said which literally convicted me and struck fear in me. He made reference to Heb 10:26, which wasn't even his main topic, but something mentioned it as a passing statement.
Heb 10:26-29
26 For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries. 28 Anyone who has rejected Moses’ law dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace?
hmm running out of time, but v26 pretty much stared me in the face, and showed me how my whole life was just wrong..
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
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God this is so frustrating, and it hurts.. been such a fool. Don't even know what i should do anymore, but i just pray that the decisions and choices i make are the right ones..but there really isn't anything to lose anymore. It's serious time for change because my current self isn't getting my anywhere but getting caught up in the world, and its so pointless. I guess this is goodbye to myself, and it was nice knowing me..
I think for me it was meant to be this way, the battles i fight are battles for one, because God you are all i need. My life, in your hands, once again.
2 Thess 2
13 But we are bound to give thanks to God always for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God from the beginning chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth, 14 to which He called you by our gospel, for the obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. 15 Therefore, brethren, stand fast and hold the traditions which you were taught, whether by word or our epistle.
16 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, 17 comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work.
Thank you Lord for bringing me this far, and I know that you've been with me in every step of my life. Thank you for choosing me, believing in me, and calling me to your side. Help me to stand fast upon your word, and the truth that is in you, that i may overcome any obstacle, barrier or wall that stands in my way. You are my Father, King, Shepard, Saviour, Redeemer, Lord, and above all, my best friend. In you alone do I find peace, comfort, shelter, refuge, and joy which is my strength. So lead me Lord on this path of righteousness, maturing me through the trials and testing, that ultimately I can bring glory to Your name.
leaving the past and all that it held, behind..
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
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God i pray that you'll give me strength to live this life, perseverance to run this race, and faith to do it your way. Lord give me a resolution that is tougher than any metal, not falling behind getting lost anymore.. No matter what the cost, i will go for you
Friday, September 11, 2009
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is life just this one big masquerade party? there always seems to be so much more than what meets the eye.. pushing it or shrugging things off don't seem to work for me, i can't keep fooling myself and expect everything to be the way we see it to be.
Need God to give me some direction, or wisdom!
To see beyond the physical and into the spiritual, because that's what we're all about..
Monday, September 7, 2009
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Blllarrggghhhh! somehow i feel like puking everything inside of me out.. haha
had a really good weekend, but the fun was short lived and everything felt like it passed by so fast. It felt like a dream, but now i'm back in reality and returning to a place called the university. bah, im slowly starting to feel tired..of just everything.
well, on the bright side, ps catherine gave a great sermon last night which taught me more about having God's joy in trials.. who doesn't face trials? and who wouldn't need God's joy when facing one? some things are inevitable, and they're there always for a reason and for a purpose. we aren't able to change to circumstances nor the situation, however what we can change is the outcome and the results of how things are gonna end. It is exactly the same as how we can't change others, but what we can do in our power, is to change ourselves. The way i see it, many things in my life are out of my control, but what i can do is to by myself give the best that i have.. it will come to a stage where the song that we sing isn't our song anymore, not one that is written or composed by us, but ultimately one that God has written for us.
I think it's time to move on..
1 Thess 5
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.
7 short verses, but each holding a command for us to live by and to follow. there's something about v20 that really hits me..
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
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"Standing here in Your presence
thinking of the good things You have done
waiting here patiently
just to hear Your still small voice again
Holy, righteous, faithful to the end,
Saviour, healer, redeemer, and friend"
feels great being free! however freedom comes at a price, and what did it cost us? whatever the cost may be, it sure is worth every last bit of it!
Current Status: a live and moving target
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
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All i can say is thank God for friends, and thank God for putting them in our lives. looking at a loong week ahead!
1 Thess 5
9 For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ,
10 who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him.
11 Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
Monday, August 31, 2009
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so, last nights sermon taught me a few things.. mainly on humility, and being transparent. i guess for me being transparent is still something i have to work on, but i really can't see it happeneing.. like a whole churchful of people being totally open and transparent to each other. If that were the case, then there wouldn't be any secrets, or anything left to gossip about since everyone is transparent. From the way i see it, there are always gonna be that small number of black sheep that always stuff things up, they're the ones that would end up judging you, or even badmouthing you to others, and then the whole system of transparency would just fail. I mean don't we all have secrets that we wished no one else would ever know about? To actually be totally transparent to somebody, like 100% open, no hiding any truths, or distorting facts, or bringing across in a way that doesn't make u look as bad, would require sooo much trust in that person and faith in the relationship that you have. Transparency that im talking about can be a really tough nut to crack, but is also one of the most basic steps in moving forward in your Christian walk. What's the worst that could happen? ..exposing the monster inside..
Friday, August 28, 2009
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WITH EVERYTHING, WITH EVERYTHING, WE WILL SHOUT FOR YOUR GLORY
WITH EVERYTHING, WITH EVERYTHING, WE WILL SHOUT FORTH YOUR PRAISE!!!!
w00t! great time at yaf! and an even greater time of worship!! i think its the first time ive experienced such worship at yaf where the congregation so was into it, and so active. Not only could i hear them singing, but it was as though everyone was literally singing with their hearts! So much passion in tonight's worship! What a feeling, what an experience, and what presence.. We're just touching the tip of the iceburg, believing in God that we WILL go to greater depths in our worship!
to be filled with new wine, burning with fresh fire, and charged up with divine power!! All that comes from God alone :) No one else can satisfy except Him, and nothing else can compare to Him!
Just as i was heading to work today, i didn't feel like going because of the other million things i had to do that were on my mind, and also because i was feeling pretty tired.. God just hit me! it felt like i was struck out of no where and He just consumed me. my thoughts, emotions, feelings, and everything gone. It was just pure worship from there on! I don't know how it happened, but i sure want that to happen to me everyday, coz i sure didn't do anything.. Amazing how when all else fails, He never does.
Current status: Rising from the dead!
1 Thess 4:11-12 [NKJV]
11 that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, 12 that you may walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing.
[NIV]
11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.
i'm not too sure about the part where it tells us to aspire to lead a quiet life. what does 'quiet' in this context mean? like a low profile? something simple? To mind our own business is a definite must that i think everyone still has to learn from, and to work with our own hands is what lazy people hate the most. i know because i use to like taking the shortest route possible, some say its called being smart, but to others its just called taking short cuts.. we all want to get something from doing nothing, but i dont think such a thing is possible in this world. I like the 2 different translations of the second part of v12. to lack nothing, and to not be dependent on anybody. So then the question is, is it wrong to depend on others for things? And interestingly the start of v12 says that our daily lives should win the respect of outsiders.. which i think everybody wants, but might be doing it the wrong way. Should such a thing like winning the respect of others from our life be something that we must work towards and to purpose to win their respect? or does it come naturally from believing in Jesus and wanting to be more like Him?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
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We Christians thrive in the midst of adversity! When things look bad, don't feel sad, but be glad! coz that's our time to shine! hah i can only say this now because things don't look so good. Ive got heaps of things to do in the next few days and it just feels like the world is squeezing me dry like some piece of cloth, till the point that it's getting slightly suffocating.. need to take a breather. there just seems to be no joy in the things that i do nowadays, and everything feels like a chore. i also can't seem to be able to say no to anything which doesn't make anything easier, but probably making my life harder. I am definitely not a good juggler.
1 Thess 4
7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. 8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given[a] us His Holy Spirit.
i found v7 very straightforward but nonetheless a very good reminder for all. we are to be holy as God is holy, and not have any unclean spot or blemishes in us e.g sin, and we also know that God hates sin, so we should hate sin too. simple yet hard to keep. v8 is the consequences of not following v7. so if we dont follow or do as v7 says, im guessing that it means that you're rejecting it, and it is clearly stated that if we reject v7 we reject God and His Holy Spirit which he has already given to us.. so it is possible for us to reject the Holy Spirit.. why would anyone do that is unthinkable, but we do know from God's word that it is possible to do so. does it mean that it's really easy to reject the Holy Spirit?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
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took a short break which wasn't really good because i realised that this was meant to keep me accountable in my daily devotions. i guess i was a little busier last week, or it just feels like i have much more stuff to do nowadays..
Just a quick note before i forget, a word for me at worshipnet was for me to 'apply' myself. some other things were for me to run fast, and my race is an endurance race, so i'm gonna have to keep at it.
The 'unbelieving believer' sermon has been in my mind ever since it was preached on sunday. somehow it makes me think that there's a little of that in everyone of us.
1 thess 4:4-5
4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,
5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
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yeap just when i thought i was slowly beginning understanding some things around here, it appears that i still dont understand or get anything or anyone.. i think im waaay out of my league here with everything. haha it seems kinda funny how things are happening, or going to happen in the future. It looks unpredictable, yet predictable at the same time.. we have to realise that we can't change people or the way they think, only God can! I just hope that people really know what they're doing.
Monday, August 10, 2009
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been pretty sick the last two days.. started off with a cough which led to a headache and then to a fever which has been bugging me ever since sat. So ive basically spent the last 2 days just sleeping hoping it would get better, but evidently not. It's not a good feeling where you end up waking up 5-10 times in one night finding yourself covered in sweat, but shivering at the same time..and no matter how much you sleep your eyes always end up being sore by just having them open. though im feeling much better now, i can't say that i've completely recovered. And is it true to say that all healing comes from God? even healing from taking meds?
1 thess 3:5
5 For this reason, when I could no longer endure it, I sent to know your faith, lest by some means the tempter had tempted you, and our labor might be in vain.
i think the last thing anyone would have want happening to them is for them to labour in vain. For almost everyone, everything that they do usually counts for something, like they have a reason or a purpose for doing it because they want to achieve something from it. Ever gotten the feeling where you've done so much work, put so much effort and invested so much time into doing something because you knew that the results from doing it would be great, but in the end in turns out to be pointless or futile? That feeling would make you seem like an absolute fool.. either because you stuffed up somewhere along the way, or it had no meaning to it right from the start.
And i find this really relates to our spiritual walk. How it is so easy to labour in vain..how we could so easily get caught up in various things that we end up losing our original purpose and in the end having nothing. Like so often it is really easy for us who serve every week to get too caught with the act of serving that we forget the one whom we're actually serving.
another example of how easily it is for us to labour in vain is like what the verse says, when the tempter tempts us. I'm guessing tempter is satan, and tempts us would be us sinning. So just as easily it is for us to sin, which i find really easy, it's that easy for us to labour in vain. God is holy, if we offer up to him things with unclean hands, i don't think he'll accept it. That is why it is soo important for us to make sure that we are covered by the blood all the time.. nothing else is as powerful as the blood.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
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so, lately ive been trying to get things right in regards to being on top of my uni studies, work, and trying to practice drums everyday.. but the one thing that i have been lacking really is spending time on my spiritual walk. It just seems that everything i do seems to be things that only scratch the surface and has no deep meaning to it. I'm missing some kind of depth in my current way of living because i know that there's so much more to do and can be done, and everything i do just seems so pointless? It's like doing for the sake of doing it..but it feels wrong. I think i've been in this 'place' in my life for far too long and ive gotten so used to it till the point that i must to move on. by staying at this current position which was once maybe good for me, might not be good if i stay any longer.. it feels that staying any longer would not do me any good any more but instead will do me harm. It's going to be a beginning of a new season and something new..but what?
the prayer meeting's worship last night felt different, as in better and more powerful. I think the free worship really did kick off and something must have exploded in the room. i could really feel the Holy Spirit move in the chapel, and im sure everyone else did too. It's really great when people of like faith who are passionate about pursuing after God come together to worship and prayer.. it really is different from your normal church sunday services. And wow.. its already august..
1 Thess 2:12
12 that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.
trust once lost is hard to earn back :( its so sad.. but there's no point letting my past haunt me for any longer than it should be, and we're not living in the past, but for the future! we all make mistakes, and i seem to make lots of them..but i thank God for being there with me at all times, even when it feels so dark. I need to get a move on.
Lots of things to thank God for these past few days. Firstly, i lost my Bible for quite some time and how i found it was just a miracle! One night i was just sick of not having my Bible with me as it made everything seem so much harder, and it did feel really weird not reading from my normal Bible..so i prayed and asked God to somehow reveal or cause the Bible to just appear!(as i've heard from other people's testimony's) Then i went to sleep, then in my sleep i saw this vision/picture of my garage and God pointed out this specific area on top of the shoe rack to me, and something in me was just telling me that my Bible was there! though i had previously searched my whole room and garaged and had not been successful in finding it. So anyway, the next day i went to the spot to have a look, but the Bible was NOT there..instead it was some Word book store plastic bag which i had never seen before..but i knew in me that my bible was in there, so i opened it and went through the contents and at the end of the bag was my Bible! i was heaps shocked and surprised, but i thank God that He is good :)
Another thing on my: 'to thank God for' list is today's worship sessions. Though i know they weren't perfect or the best we've done, but still i'm glad that God really did help me and enable me to play to the best of my abilities (or so i have hoped). I was personally really blessed by being able to take part in both worship services as i really could feel God play through me and you wouldnt be able to experience this unless you were given the opportunity to!
Just one last thing that has been on my mind the past few days was an old bethel sermon which i heard maybe last year? its main topic was on love, but there was this one example that the pastor gave that really showed me one kind of extreme love which just made so much sense to me recently.. it was the whole story about if one of your friends falls in this quick sand and is sinking, a good friend would be one to jump in behind you and push you out of that pit no matter what. and hah! i just realised how crazy that sounds.. and also how seemingly impossible too.. considering situations and circumstances, for someone to do such thing really is against human nature. the only person that i would think really would do that in his right mind would be Jesus, which was what He already did for us. It's really easy to say with such conviction and confidence that you will be like that, or you will do that.. however when the time comes, i guess things don't usually turn out the way you expect them to be.. right now, are we ones that are able to push our friends out of whatever quick sand they are in? or are we the ones stuck in the quick sand that needs the pushing out?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
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ugghh.. uni has only started for a week, and already so many problems has popped up.. my week hasn't been looking good, let alone other things.. feeling so 'lost' at the moment because things keep changing on a daily basis, can't even tell what's going to happen tomorrow..just praying and knowing that the following weeks will be much better and things will be different this time. Trusting in God for the change in my life, and in my uni life.. i need to start fixing my focus once more not on my problems or circumstances or whatever bad news that comes my way, but really on what Christ has done for us and what He can do. Let hope and faith arise in me!! There's nothing that cannot be overcome and nothing that can stand in my way.
spiritual encounter was a new beginning for me i would say. i was drained from all the uni and things of this world so easily, and just being at the encounter totally renewed me and refreshed, and brought me back to the right perspective of looking at life. Although ive been to quite a few spiritual encounters, this one as usual seemed totally different to the others, and what spoke to me in this spiritual encounter was also different from the others. One thing that always gets me after the spiritual encounter is always the weight and depth that sin carries along with it, and especially watching the passion of the Christ video again, it made me realise yet again that it was OUR sins that pinned Christ on that cross.. taught me to hate sin and see how deadly it was.. with sin in our lives, we are considered as dead in God's eyes.
Another thing that really spoke to me was the verse which said that if we are friends of this world, we are enemies of God(can't really remember the ref.) And i found this to be more of an eye opener, something new that i've never heard of before. This made me think a lot on how i lived my life, and my thoughts of just being friends with everyone was gonna be ok. This made me realise that i had to take a firm stand on one side, and that sitting on the fence between both sides won't do me any good at all.. However a lot of the things that i do, is based out of habit that i have gotten over the years of growing up in the 'world', and many times i don't even know that what i am doing is wrong! Its scary how ignorance doesn't pardon you from sin, just because you don't know it doesn't make you safe! it is our job after all to study the Word which was given to us.
During this spiritual encounter i also received a word from God from one of the pastors when i was up on one of the alter calls.. and the word that was given to me wasn't really much of a surprise or a shock to me because it was something that has been said to me before.. and maybe even more than once. it was something along the lines of me stepping out of my shadow. and when i asked for the explanation, it simply meant for me to be bold and to make noticed by other people, like by putting myself out there.. For me i wouldn't say this was something new, but what im not too sure about is what i have do after receiving this word. im still totally clueless, and also partly because i don't see the point of me making myself to be noticed by others.. boldness in what sense??
Eph 1:18
18 the eyes of your understanding being enlightened;
SPIRITUAL ENCOUNTER, BRING IT ON!
GOD, HERE I COME!!
Col 1
9 For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; 12 giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.
15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. 17 And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.
ohh boy, results are coming out tmr and im fully nervous because i know that i didnt really do too well in my exams haha.. relying on God to push me to a pass! my heart always skips a beat whenever i think about the possibility of results that i'll get. praying for the best for all commerce students in out church too!
Php 4:11-12
11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
yea i found these 2 verses to be really interesting..to be content in whatever state you are in..and in v12, to be both full and hungry, to abound and to suffer in need. its kinda contradictory, like its easy yet tough at the same time.. to be hungry yet full at the same time, i guess is a feeling that you get when you're satisfied with how far you've come, but know that you still can go even further? and to be in abundance yet at the same time to suffer in need is something i can't really say i can understand because i dont think ive ever felt that way.. so far at least.. maybe when i start working full-time. Anyway this just got me thinking for the spiritual encounter, that no matter how filled or full of the Holy Spirit you may be, there can always be room for more. You can never have too much of the Holy Spirit in your life! Gotta be hungry for more!
-=CHANGE IN PROGRESS=-
that's right! God is doing a new work in me, and i am being changed from the inside out! time to make way for a new me. I've learnt much over this weekend because of the 2 great messages that was preached both on fri night, and this morning.. on not settling for second best, and about desiring to be better! Also learnt that there are some things that we can't change, and we need God to do it for us. God is changing me in areas that i alone am not able, and i know that what He has in plan for me is for the best. Change is happening, and i know that i need it!
Jeremiah 29:13
13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
haha this is such an awesome verse, it should be like one of the main verses for the spiritual encounter. it pretty much sums up everything we need to do when we are seeking God. Getting pumped for encounter! its gonna be deep and personal! Just God and I..no pride, and nothing else.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
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hah awesome, tonight was definitely a great way to gear up for spiritual encounter, it already feels like it! personally, worship was great, though it could have been better haha..but the presence of God right after worship seemed so strong, or maybe i was just more sensitive. It was one of those days where you get feeling of excitement, and the feeling of His strong presence just rushes through your veins and your all alert and pumped up! then ps anne gave a really good sharing, one that i think was really spirit led and it really spoke to me. more like one of those messages that go straight to your heart. by the end of it i just felt so 'in my place' and really began to see things much more clearly and really got back into the place of receiving from God whatever He wants to give. For a second i almost let my pride get the better of me, but i realised that i am nothing, except a tool that is to be used by God.. this whole life really, isnt about me nor what i want, but ultimately about God.
Im going to the spiritual encounter, knowing and expecting for my personal encounter with God. one that will indeed change my life for the better permanently.
It's time to go back :)
sigh faill, im moving so slowy.. its seems like my speed is even slower than that of a snail, and nothing seems to be working. or maybe im just not trying hard enough? road block again? >.<
oh well, definitely looking forward to the worship night tmr. its gonna be a time where they'll be such freedom and liberty in the sanctuary that everyone who goes will be able to just worship they're heart out. its gonna be a good way to get ready for the spiritual encounter which is just gonna knock us off our feet, which is a definite must in my case.
Php 4
7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
definitely gonna need guarding of my heart and of my mind!
yea, been pretty busy/lazy in posting the past few days, can already feel the holiday mood coming over me. My biggest concern or worry in the holidays is me wasting time, soo gotta make sure i minimize that this time.
Php 3
12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
i remember that in the last spiritual encounter, this whole thing on pressing on and seeking God were of high importance. Example, in the alter calls, a lot of it was just us responding to the call, and while up at the alter, we sought after God and really had to press in into His presence. I remember sessions where the alter calls would be really long, and if your not focused, you could easily be distracted or just give up totally on the thing that you were praying for. Many times when there's this great message that's being preached, or something that God is revealing to us through His word, many times what we initially see is just tip of the iceberg, and we will only be able to see or understand the full picture when we press into God and really like how Jacob wrestled with the angel and refuse to give up until you receive what you set out to achieve. I strongly believe that many times, you will only receive what you are really desperate for, and that our faith is seen best in desperate situations. One question that i normally ask myself is how badly do i want it?
For this upcoming spiritual encounter, im sure everyone would go having expectations and desires, and prayers to be met and answered. But then, we/i have to check and first see how badly we really want it..
Where i am now? and where am i supposed to be?
yesss!! exams are over! definitely something off my mind.. time to turn myself back into a normal human and not some kind of zombie that just studies. Next thing on the list of prayer points would now be the results haha.. in all things, i still have to thank God for bringing me through yet another semester! all by the grace of God,and is to God's glory :)
Im eagerly anticipating spiritual encounter which will be in 2 weeks time! Just thinking of the one we had last year, and the one at g12 in singapore, i cannot even begin to imagine the possibilities of even crazier things happening this upcoming one. I know that for myself, i definitely wont be in the same that i was in in the previous encounter, but will definitely still be hungry, thirsty, and on fire for God.. its the same feelings, but like on a different level!
anyways its time to rest up and recover lost sleep, and start earnestly seeking God and preparing myself for the upcoming weeks!
yes last exam is today.. cant wait to get over it! time to get the creative juices flowing, gonna really need God to just place ideas and answers in my head this time haha..
Php 3:3
3 For we are the circumcision, who worship God in the Spirit, rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh,
To rejoice in the Lord, and have no confidence in the flesh. Confidence and trust in our great God! Everything is gonna be alright.
yea, exam tmr morning! bring it on! haha confidence from God and faith in Him. Gonna need to rely on Him once more :) Im too blessed to be stressed..looking forward to the better times ahead in the holidays haha. These exams are nothing in the hands of God, phew so no need to worry. Praying for a good nights sleep, and a bright and early refreshing start tmr morning with a day where God is just in full control. Divine wisdom, peace, and understanding will be with me :)
Pick it up!! count down to spiritual encounter.
sooo sick of studying >.<>But great sermon at church this morning, on true rest.. haha hopefully i wont get too 'rested' that i totally forget about my studies, and still see my role as a student is to study and do well in exams! It is waaay easy to put study as the top priority, especially in this exam period, where all that is on our minds is our exams. I need to remember, to be aware of my state of mind, and not let the exams lord over me. To put God first, but at the same time putting my heart into studies.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
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Php 1 27 Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel, 28 and not in any way terrified by your adversaries, which is to them a proof of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that from God
v27 seems like such a 'Paul' thing to say haha.. after reading a lill on his lettters to the corinthians, and ephesians, there's some stuff which he repeated or had the same idea in the letter. v27 is like combination of various verses i know of in ehpesians, but i guess it is relevent to all, and by repeating it this shows us the importance of it. v28 seems more like a verse that i can relate at this moment.. to be 'not in any way terrified by your adversaries', yea i read that and felt like it was talking about me..haha. It served as a good reminder to me, to really recognize who i am. I am the redeemed of the Lord, who has the greater one living in me. A son of God that cannot be easily shaken because i am from God, and my God is not shaken! and if im not making any sense, itll because of studies + lack of sleep..
there is freedom in submission, and bondage in rebellion. yea! got bored of studying so decided to listen to undercover.. had this headache the whole day, which made it really hard to study, and its all because i had this crazy dream this morning, which made my head feel soo heavy when i woke up. Didnt even feel like i had any rest at all. Staring at the computer screen and fine text all day also didnt make it any better :(
Php 1 19 For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, 20 according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
hmm im not liking studying for exams, especially when im studying for one that im not particularly interested in, and isn't very interesting itself.. but yes, after listening to yesterday's sermon, it made all the problems and exams seem like such a simple thing. Simply just having faith and believing in God, the master of breakthrough! haha.. but i know that for this to happen we ourselves need to give our 100%. There's still a few more days before my first exam, which is on sat.. definitely counting on God to pull me through! Lots of preperation that is still needed to be done, and im gonna be needing lots of stamina and good memory, with divine wisdom and understanding. With God all things are poosible :)
It was pretty cool how yesterday while i was reading my Bible in the morning, i was reading Philippians 1, and v6 was one of the verses that just caught my eye, and stuck in my mind.. the whole thing about God completing the good work which He begun in us.. and even more amazing, Ps anne preached on it as well! Feel so relieved that ultimately God is in control, and that He has a plan for our lives, and promised in His word to complete that good work, and cause that plan to come to pass as long as we let God do his thing in our lives. To give our live to God once more, to be utterly sold out to Him! Really i pray for God to have his way, to just barge into my life.. i give Him permission to!
knocking some sense into myself once more! started looking at the bigger picture with a 'tunnel' vision once more. Gearing up for spiritual encounter, and to be at my best (spiritually)! I realised for myself that it takes me a while to get back up there, it's like my engine needs a while to fully warm up.. to be able to totally flow with God's presence and just to be at one with the Holy Spirit. So to get the most out of this spiritual encounter, in order to have all my expectations met, i need to prepare myself. Especially being in the worshipnet, i need to be even more focused and on fire! can't expect to lead others to a place where i haven't been before, can i? it's not jsut about me, but those around me as well. Need to completely rid myself of myself, so that God can fill me up with all that He has planned for me once more. I've been blessed to be a blessing, so im gonna do my best to be a clean and pure, totally unblocked open channel for God's use.Worshipnet this morning was good :)
spent the last 2 days going through a whole smester's worth of recorded lectures..which was about 18hrs? so now my head feels like its going to explode with all the info that has passed through, at the same time retention rate can also be said to be very low. Well i guess that was just to mainly refresh my memory, so that when i go through the workshop questions after this none of them will seem new or foreign. Not to mention work tonight, which i really shouldnt be going because of the time constraints, it isn't really doing me any good! And because of the timetable i set myself, in the process of trying to keep up with it, i havent been spending time with God, or really little.. not good as well..suddenly 24hrs a day seem so short o.O I need to get through a certain amount of work each day in order to be ready for the exams, which in this case is already pretty hard to achieve.. and even more importantly i have to spend even more time with God, which should be really natural. But when i focus my mind on my studies i cut everything else off, not finding it possible to think of the answer to the question and to think about God at the same time.. And im gonna need to cut back on more sleep! hmm don't think im doing things the right way, gonna have to change my method a little bit more to incorporate God much more during the day. To put Him first..seems really impossible right now, but it actually is possible!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
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feeling so unmotivated to study, even if i sit down with just my books and nothing else, my mind always tends to wander haha.. just cant seem to concentrate :S Time is running out, with a week and a bit to go, i still have 3 subjects to revise for.. my body isn't feeling that stress or push so i just have to force myself to. No work tmr night, so i have to full day..gonna try to get much more work done, and not sleep in like i did this morning! can't keep digging my grave deeper and deeper..eep! eph 3:16 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, eph 6:10 10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
Verses of strength and might that i've read recently! Gonna use these verses to keep me going, both physically and mentally. Can't afford any depressing thoughts or mental breakdowns haha. Battle is won in the mind!
church this morning was a surprise with Ps Nick preaching to us! His way of preaching was different and i think like everyone else, i was pretty amazed at the teaching on the covenant. That was new info for me, not the regular stuff that is normally taught at our church but im not sure if the international students got as much out of the sermon as some others might have. Lots of reminders, like the two sides of the road that we have to be careful not to fall into, which is legalism and license(i think). Especially being brought up in an asian culture where from young we have been taught to do good in order to be loved or approved by someone else, legalism would definitely be one of the stronger walls that would be holding most people back and hindering them in their walk with God. And once again we cannot expect God to bless us, and fulfill all His promises if we first don't submit to Him, and live our lives the way we have been taught. Many people go off i guess quoting the Bible and claiming all of the blessings and promises, while at the same time living in sin.. don't think it works that way. I also really like how Ps Nick tried making each and everyone of us feel 'important', by giving the example of the whole unvierse having been created just so we could live. Really reminded me on the magnitude and large scale of God's love for us, and i always find it hard to remember because its just too much to even imagine!
Nothing to worry about with God in control, all we have to do is to trust in Him, and have faith in Him. Our future is secure in His hands, and each one of us is important to Him..something which is took me a very long time to actually absorb, and still shocks me whenever i think about it. God is just on a level that is waaay above us, higher than we can ever imagine! What are our tiny little problems and issues when compared to the greatness of God. We are fools to even loose our standing and our peace to the lie and deceit of the devil. I thank God for the people that He has placed around me, and i love each and everyone of them.. i pray daily that God would give me a soft heart that would just hurt and ache caring not about myself but those around me who have played a big role in my life. It's funny how the devil puts negetive and demoralizing thoughts in your mind, and one thought leads to another, with each picture getting dimmer and duller, with the final outcome of us having like no hope at all. We often tend to overlook that all the thoughts we have were just lies based on our emotions and how we feel at that moment, and that Christ is our everlasting hope who never fails. Never give up going onwards, pushing aside every hindrence and worry that stumbles us. Our lives revolve around Christ and not around what others think about us. May we never ever forget the One who gave His one and only son, and the Son who gave His life for ours.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
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so i havent posted anything the past 2 days because ive been doing my take home exam, which i handed in today.. also due to the fact that i had rather irregular sleeping patterns, which wasn't good. Gonna get back into the habit of early morning devotions, and ending the day with recaps here. Must admit, that i havent really been doing proper devotions due to the thoughts of exams and studies, and life hasnt been as great as its meant to be because of that. Was reminded of this tonight at life group. which was led really nicely by sam.. the things he taught really got my mind thinking a bit and made me realise that i have in the midst of all these events, i did slide back a bit and got so caught up in things that i kinda forgot some of the very basics on faith and obedience. But all's good now, recharged!
James 1:12-16 12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. 14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
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yea first exam tmr! technically in 8hrs time haha.. but it's a take home exam over a period of 2 days, but i still don't think its gonna be easy and i know that im gonna be needing every single hour! hehe gonna do it with God's widom, knowledge, understanding, and some superb memory haha. Expecting great results!
Ehp 5 1 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 3 But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;
To be imitators of God, and to see ourselves as saints! To live the live we were meant to live, and not what we want. eph 4:1 always gets me - to walk worthy of the calling with which we were called. I have to keep that at the front of my mind all the time, must not forget!
today i reckon church was pretty epic, well at least i found the morning service sermon really different, but it spoke to me sooo much. I was more shocked when Ps Chris started preaching, mainly because last night before i went to bed, i was praying and the thought of hell and what would happen to me if i died right there and then, or if i went to sleep and never got up again! It was one of those moments where you suddenly reflect back, and start seeing how scary hell really is, and that our sin has so much weight, that one tiny sin can drag us all the way down to that horrid place where once we enter we will be stuck there for all eternity.. Well this morning we finished off with mighty to save, which i think went pretty well..all pumped and excited to hear the message, and then Ps Chris started talking about 'The place where we don't want to be'. And that just freaked me out, coz it was such a coincidence and it was like God was trying to tell me something. Even freakier because i seldom ever think about such things, and when i do, the next day it becomes the sermon. But because of that, the message sunk much deeper into my heart, and i was definitely more alert than i would have been, and the impact was much greater.. I'm sure God has a reason for everything He does, and i know that God is telling me something through this.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
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i found prayer meeting tonight really good, not sure how everyone else found it..might have been just me hahas..think im getting used to the corner that im in, because of the loud speaker that is right in front of me.. makes its easier to worship without being able to hear myself haha. but yeh, i wished it had gone on for much longer becuase i was enjoying every single moment of God's presence, and just the unity of the church i guess. It just brings you to such a high that you literally just forget about everthing around you, and things that were once on your mind is just washed away completely erased with the mind just being filled with just the greatness and awesomeness of God! haha.. makes u feel like exploding, and gives you the sense of power and confidence that you could literally do anything e.g fly! Prayer meetings usually tend to bring me to this peak, where it gives me the strength to move on in another month. Like a recharging of batteries where you feel so refreshed and re-energized just after one night of corporate prayer and worship! I don't think i'll be able to spiritually survive a year without going to prayer meetings, coz it's just too important to miss out on. That for me would be life changing in its own way.
eph 4:26-28 26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. 28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor,
Lord i pray that my actions will speak louder than my words, not only that, but that i will walk the talk and live the life that i say i will live. I want to be a person that has substance, and has a reason, that serves a purpose.. "to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called".. very big words. I thank God that everyday is a new day, and i am just glad that each day we have new beginnings and new choices to make. I aim to live each day better than the day before, and to be better than the day before.. to do justice to myself, and the greater one that lives in me. One of the more important things that i need now in this period i would say is discipline!
just finished work and its almost 2, and ive got uni at 9 tmr! mhmm gonna be fun trying to keep myself awake and getting out of bed tomorrow.. Pentacost Sunday yesterday :) Filled with a new measure of the Holy Spirit!
Eph 4 14 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—
haha, i read this and i thought of worshipnet on sat morning, and i guessed just refreshed my memory on the growing up part, and that we should no longer be children..because it is said there specifically in v 14. 'tossed to and for' would be how this world may treat us sometimes, or well for me at least.. a lot of it would be because of studies and work, but a part of it would also be because of poor time management i would say. You just get the feeling like your circumstances like exams and certain commitments that you have made are controlling your life.. instead of you. But this shouldnt be the case, and we all know that haha.. God is in control at all times, we just need to believe in Him. Guess it all boils down to us growing up into the position that we have in Christ, and knowing our identity.. to realise who we are meant to be in this world! because we are more than conquerers! we don't just conquer, we go above and beyound all situations.
yup worshipnet this morning was pretty good, well today in general i found really refreshing an relaxing. i liked it how Ps anne did a sharing on the Holy Spirit, and one point which really spoke to me was the difference between a 'son of God', and a 'child of God'. It never really occured to me that they were 2 totally different things, and that the mindsets of those 2 types of people are also completely different.. basically i think a child is a younger version of a son?? maybe more immature and still not knowing his true identity yet i think.. and we who have been saved, after being recognized as children of God, have to move up, to becoming son's of God. We have to be God chasers, not just maintaining the fort, but storming the gates of the enemy! Using the authority that has been given to us, and taking back what is ours by force!
Eph 4:1-6 1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.
i find it much more convenient and easier to meditate on God's word the whole day if i actually remember them..haha.. so i've taken this little thing upon myself to try to memorize a few verses or short passages a week, and really reciting them over and over throughout the day/week not just to refresh my memory and making sure i remember everything, but to also keep myself in contact with God's word. Hopefully by doing this i will stay more alert, and be more intuned with the Holy Spirit..coz there'll be nothing to reveal if there's nothing worth revealing, i first need to have some substance inside first i feel. So im working on something simple first, and i happened to read these few verses, which spoke to me because it was about callings..soo im looking forward to see the results! I know that God will speak to me through His word.
Eph 3:14-2114 For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
haha such awesome verses.. it is indeed food for my spirit and life to my whole body. reading it just captivated my attention and made me much more alert. I'm gonna try practicing this awesome memory that God has blessed me with, and memorize these few verses.. It's definitely something worth meditating upon and absorbing into the spirit..and i know that it will be very useful to me!
true strength is when you are able to overcome sin in that small moment of weakness.. haha im far from perfect, but at least there's a goal that i can aim for. I think what's important is how you pick yourself up after you fall, no matter how big or small the fall is.. One can either choose to stay down and out as a result of the fall, or choose to pick himself up and start all over again.. haha two messages come to my mind, one is Ps Ardians sermon at easter camp where he gave an example of us appraoching God through prayer, and after advancing sometimes we slide back, and when we slide back its always right back to the starting line.. but we start back again from there, not stopping or giving up. The second sermon is Ps Judah Smith's sermon at the hillsong conference where he talk about checking out of 'worthy world'. God's grace was given to us freely and with an unconditional love, we didn't earn it nor deserve it, but it was a gift which we were given freely.
Eph 3 10 to the intent that now the manifold wisdom of God might be made known by the church to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places, 11 according to the eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord,
i like it how in v10 it says that God's manifold wisdom (which is something so amazing in itself) might be made known BY the church, to the the principalities and powers in the heavenly places.. if my english isn't wrong, then the church will be the one that would be showing forth God's manifold wisdom.. we should be the wise ones here coz God said in His word that He will use us, and that has always been His intention! interesting how it is to be made known in the heavenlt places, i'm guessing that it's refering to the demon's and devil? But the question is: is that really happening with the churches today? What was stuck in my head though was the words 'eternal purpose' in v11. I always knew that i had a purpose in life, a calling/destiny that God has planned for not just me but everyone else. But by placing the word 'eternal' infront of it, just gave such a deeper and heavier effect. Our life here on earth has an eternal effect.. must not forget the purpose.
alright, it's time for me to sorta reboot my system.. had a minor crash for a second. Telling and constantly reminding myself to keep focus!! I need to slowly rebuild up that momentum and get right back into the flow of things, coz i still get thrown off track so easily. Gearing up for the exams, and not only that, but the spiritual encounter that is right after that! Nothing is worse than being the weakest link in the team, so im working hard to be the best that i can be. No time to fool around anymore! Playtimes over, time to grow up.
Eph 2 14 For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation,
He has broken down the wall that seperates us, abolishing everything that ever stood between Him and us. All by grace we were saved, and by love we have life. Jesus did it all for us already, the wall has been destroyed, there is nothing that is blocking us from Him and us, except ourselves. All we need to do is realise that, and walk straight to Him.. simple as that. We have to stop building our own imaginary walls that are just keeping us away from Him. Stop making excuses, because there is absolutely nothing that is coming between us. All sin, pain, shame, and guilt was taken by Him, and Him alone. We dont need to pay for what has already been paid for, and stop going back to try to pay for it. I pray that God, You will give me this revelation.
the One who tore the veil, who's love will never fail, and always will prevail.
its been a long weekend i would say, lots of things happened and i was hardly ever at home.. church was good, think yaf worship sounded pretty good from what i heard, various people found it different in a good way. I found today a bit weird for me, the day in general was just lacking substance, and was feeling a bit hollow. It was a good day, but nothing deep? The picture of a really nice ball comes to my mind, one thats is perfectly round, smooth, colourful, and just nice to look at.. but inside is just air and is just empty.. My day felt a bit like that today. But the sermons today were good, first on wisdom in the morning service, then on Christ's redemption in the bilingual service.Looking forward to a greater week ahead!
been a long day, looking forward to the weekend where i can just relax at church and think of nothing but God (which i should be doing at all times but keep on getting distracted by studies and work >.<) i have to push myself some more because i know that i am stronger then what i currently am, and i can go much further with what i currently have. no excuses on my part, need to discipline myself even more! it's funny how i always seem to be more on fire or alert at night than in the morning.. i guess its because at night i can reflect and look back to the day and what i did, whereas in the morning when i look back all i think about is sleep..hahas..
eph 2:3
3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
was reading this verse again, and was reminded of the fact that we often sin not only by fulfilling the desires of the flesh, but also of the mind.. The mind im guessing basically controls what we think, also would explain why many times we sin just by having unclean thoughts. But then again, you can't really control what you think can you? i mean it's usually what first comes to your mind, and i don't think you can choose what your mind thinks..isn't more like instinct? I get the most random thoughts at the most random times of the day, sometimes i dont even know how my mind operates haha.. But we know that our mind is corrupt by nature, and so what we think isnt neccesary always right. We can sin just by thinking! Gotta constantly pray for a renewal of the mind, that it will be filled with godly thoughts, and not the things of this world.. I always have to keep watch of what im thinking! In the end it's still spirit over mind and body!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
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today seemed pretty dead to me haha.. nothing much happened, and this cold weather is making me feel uncomfortable. gonna try waking up real early tmr to seek God. Feel the need for some fresh strength and fresh fire that will spur me on!
God, i want to acknowledge You for all that You've done in my life :)
hmm was thinking over my life again today.. and just decided to count my blessings hahas, and realised that God has blessed me so much! At every stage, and every season of my life, everything that has happened so far has been for a reason..One of the biggest change that has ever happened in my life would easily be the move from singapore to here. That was when God literally turned my life around a full 180 degrees... i cannot even begin to explain how much has changed in my life since moving here to adelaide. It's like i was picked from one end of the world, and dropped into a whole new world where everything was just sooo different, and never in my life would i have ever seen that change coming.. By moving here, God litereally just gave me a whole new fresh start at life, new friends, new environments, new lifestyle, new everything! And one of the biggest thing that helped in this change was church, and joining the worshipnet. Ever since joining worshipnet, God placed in me this passion and strong desire to just worship HIm, and praise Him..and He opened my spiritual eyes to actual see that there is a whole different realm that actually exist! Over the past 4 years, i have felt that my spiritual self has come alive, its like bringing life to dry bones, and i have been boosted out into this unknown and unfamiliar territory.. so scary and real, and yet exciting at the same time. Haha you can never tell what God is gonna do next, and He always catches you offguard and surprises you and just blows your mind away! I believe that everything that has happened to me so far has been part of God's divine plan and purpose for my life, and i have come to learn that with God, anything is possible.. our lives can be so radically changed and transformed in just an instant without us even knowing it. And when you look back (like me), you just want to give God such a big praise and thank you for all that He has done!
Eph 2
10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
that's me! i am the master piece :) God's master piece! What i am, is who God has made me to be. And i am thankful for it!
eph 1
17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, 18 the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power
haha such powerful and strong verses, you can just feel the spirit behind it by reading it. But besides it just being verses that we can read, i want to make it my prayer that truly we will have the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him. It is just something that i personally can never get enough of, and is just one area where i need more.. What really struck me in these verses was 'the hope of His calling'(v18), and 'the exceeding greatness of His power'(v19).. I never really gave it much thought or let alone realise what really was the hope of His calling.. what does that actually mean..to me? And the exceeding greatness of His power, just can't seem to ever end. The amount of power that He has, that is in His name, and in His blood, just seems to grow greater and greater each day. One of the many things that so many people in this world seek nowadays is power, but so many at the same time fail to see that true power lies in and only comes from God!! Other forms of wordly power is nothing in comparison to the power that we have when we are in God, and we believers have to also realise that! So often in my daily life, i tend to forget or overlook how powerful the Christ in me really is..and because of that i end up limiting Him and myself. I want to be able to fully utilize this unlimited infinite source of power that is in me for the glory of the Kingdom.. so God, teach me how.
redemption through blood, forgiveness through grace..
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
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Gal 5:24
24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
mhmm Amen to that! I believe in God, i believe in God, i believe in God, and i believe in His Word!! I am Christ's and my fleshly passions and desires have been crucified! it's funny how i used to think that somethings are ok, becuase its in our nature and thats the way God made us.. so it's got to be ok.. But NO! sin is always bad and never ok. The lie of the devil, verry scheming and deceiving.. When we are crucified with Christ, our fleshly nature is gone, therefore we should sin no more! Anything that causes us to sin is definitely not of God, the devil will put all sorts of excuses and reasons into our minds to tempt us and trick us..(i've gone through it so many times, pretty sick of it) and we have to be wisee and alert at all times! Be armed and ready, because the devil doesnt rest, so we who are on the offense should not be so laid back. When the time comes, the reasons and excuses that the devil puts in your minds are very interesting..because the logic behind the reasoning is so warped and weird, but many times people still fall for it because they are so blinded and fail to see the bigger picture and what really is going on.
To save others, we first have to save ourselves. Have to be strong, to help those around us that we care for and love. Not doing this for ourselves, but for the ones we love.
zzZZ lack of sleep.. hopefully my body gets used to it, and will adjust accordingly. it'll be bad if the opposite would to happen, especially now that we are nearing exams. Gonna pray for good quality sleep every night. im going for quality and not quantity here!
gal 5
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
does the opposite effect apply for v18? does it mean that if we are led by the flesh, we will be under the law? coz then when we sin, is when we are not walking according to the Spirit, but under the flesh..which would then mean that we will be under the law? anyway shouldn't even go there..aim is to walk in the Spirit. But then the question is how do we walk in the Spirit? or what must we do to walk in the Spirit? Is it just constant communion with the Holy Spirit?(which is already hard doing it 24/7) is there anything else that we must do, that we aren't doing.. or just me maybe. Even the greatest of pastors fall at times, and that would be when they are not walking in the Spirit, im guessing. But not fulfilling the lust of the flesh sure is a great thing, because the lust of the flesh is most probably one of the biggest things that causes us to sin. hmm i think i should do a research or read up on it, would be great to know.
Gal 5:7-10
7You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? 8That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." 10I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be.
soo these 4 verses spoke to me today..and it was kinda reassuring yet scary at the same time. It sounded like something that would apply to me, something silly that i would have landed myself into. What even scarier is that the person who would most probably be leading me astray, would be myself.. In the previous verses and chapters, Paul has been talking about how we should not let ourselves live in bondage, but in the freedom and liberty that comes from believing in Jesus Christ. Then here in v9, he is telling us not to be contaminated.. that a little yeast will work through the whole dough. All that is needed is that little bit of contamination, and the whole dough will be 'destryoed' in a sense, nothing will be let away. In the same way, we have to be very careful of our lives, not allowing any sin to enter, and not to deceive ourselves that what we're doing is ok, or is the right thing, as said in v8. We have to remember that God is always for us, loving us, and believing in us..but the only thing that seperates us at times is the sin in our lives, sin that was committed by us.
Father, where i've gone wrong, forgive me. Let me once more run the race of life that You have set out before me, and never stop untill i have reached my finishing line.
woo Happy Mother's Day i guess.. hahas, i wasn't brought up celebrating such events so i guess im not really into it as some others are. But regardless, it was a great day at church, i think both services went well, and i know that all the mother's who came were greatly blessed :) It's really encouraging to see the bilingual service grow, especially when i started attending it there were like 10-20 members in the congregationg, where half of them would be worshipnet members. Now, we have a much bigger group, and we're getting consistant numbers every week which is awesome. Not only that, the standard of worship that we're getting is also getting better, members on stage are much more united, and the congregation also worships along with us! It's a great feeling when you stop playing the drums, and actually hear the congregation singing back to you.. at least then i know that we are heading in the right direction. Also not forgetting the presence of God that comes when we worship Him.. looking back, we have really come quite a distance, and i know that we just gonna keep on growing! Patience and trust in God's word, always pays off :) Thank You God!
Was reading the second half of galatians 4, where they talk about sarah and hagar, and how issac, who was born to sarah was the promise child, and ishmael who was born to hagar was under bondage. Now in v31, it says that we are not children of the bondwoman(hagar), but of the free! Which means that we are now not the ones under bondage, but the promise childs, we are the chosen ones, the master piece, we are freee coz we have the liberty! We should live lives that show the truth of what God has done, to shine forth His glory! A huge part of me can't wait for the future, to see all of God's promises fulfilled in our lives, and in our chruch! But first i've got to go through this season of training and growing up.. fixing my eyes on the end!!
hmm hope worship went well today, we didn't really practice much because of time constraints.. but once again, i had lots of fun serving God and worshipping with the other worshipnet memebers and with the congregation :) i could really feel God's presence and i hope that we succesfully managed to help everyone else and ushered God's presence in.
i've been so busy lately, not with God but with uni. gonna start organizing my time much more efficiently now.. need to spend more time with God, and do well in studies..tried cutting back on sleep, but it hasn't seemed to work yet haha. My brain is always too frozen in the morning to do any study, let alone spend time with God. Time to buck up once more!Can't afford to slow down, time is running outt!
Gal 4:9
9 But now after you have known God, or rather are known by God, how is it that you turn again to the weak and beggarly elements, to which you desire again to be in bondage?
no turning back! not to sin, bad habits, old ways, or anything that we been set free from! This verse struck me when i was reading it. Reminds me a lot of the fleshly self, which should be crucified on the cross daily! No one desires to be in bondage, but its in our flesh..sadly we were born with sin in us already. Have to be strong, to deny oneself.
prayer meeting was great! time out during a weekday night by going to church to pray is really different.. this time it was more refreshing for me, not so much heavy or anything, but i felt more relaxed and at peace instead. Prayer meetings are like my once a month recharge sessions, where no matter what state you go in, you will always come out fresh and new. It gives you the sense of hope, joy, peace, and faith that everything will be ok.. i think its just because by spending so much time in his presence, everything in our minds really does eventually fade away.
It's all about love. His love, for us.
Lord Jesus
We need You in our lives
In this place, today
Our sole desire
To lift You higher
To give You all our love that
Comes from You
been having a few late nights recently >.< because dad was over, plus working till late.. still managing to wake up early to do devotion, but always finding not enough time. Gonna need to try to wake up even earlier! and i also need a method that will wake me up in the mornings.. i find myself half awake reading the Bible sometimes, not a good sign haha.
There's about 1 month left till swotvac, which means exams! and all the major semester assignments are due in the coming few weeks! Church is also hopefully gonna get more serious, and time is gonna get shorter again :( Gonna face another mountain which i will be required to move again, but i know that i won't be alone. coz God has been with me, and will continue to be!
We have been justified by faith in Jesus Christ! and not by works of the law, for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. We acknowledge the work that was done on the cross over 2000 years ago, and we believe in it! Jesus DID die for us, and our faith IS in Him.(Gal 2) Likewise, we receive the Spirit not through works of law, but through faith!
Gal 3
6 just as Abraham “believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” 7 Therefore know that only those who are of faith are sons of Abraham.
9 So then those who are of faith are blessed with believing Abraham.
Faith, the most essential thing in a Christian's life. It determines what we do, how we do it, and when we do it. Faith changes the outcome of everything, and a lack of it destroys everything too. It's a scary thing to have because you'll never know what's ahead, but an even scarier thing to not have.
God i pray that You'll give me more faith. To help me believe in my unbelief.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
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Majesty King
Glorious One
We bring You honour and praise
As the ones You have saved
Majesty King
So righteous and just
You're our rock on which
We will stand upon
haha i realised that nothing is worse than having no hope, except for false hope!! The idea of just something that you want so badly with it being right in front of your face, but yet at the same time not being able to have, is worse than not having it all. But we know for sure that Jesus is our hope, and in Him, we are satisfied. So i guess sticking to Him is the safest option after all.
something i got from devotion today, Gal 1:11-12
11 But I make known to you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached by me is not according to man. 12 For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but it came through the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Like what Paul said, everything that we preach, which i would catagorize as telling others about Christ, should not be according to man, received from man, nor taught. But everything that we preach to others about should be based on revelation!
It's the same as bringing someone to a palce you've never been before, or teaching them something that you yourself do not know! The difference between being taught something compared to a revelation is that when you learn something, it goes into your head. You know it. However when u get a revelation, it goes pass your head and into your heart, which is where really everything will flow out from. Preaching from the head would never be as effective as preaching from the heart. You can only truly preach a message to someone else when you yourself truly have not just heard the message and memorized it, but experienced it first hand. The reality and experience that you get from a revelation has much much more impact, then mere words out from our mouth.
That's why we need a close relationship with God, for all the revelations that He wants to reveal to us! :)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
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hmm u know its not a good thing when u can't remember what you read for devotion in the morning before you sleep. I guess i was still half awake when i did my devotion this morning, and was busy at uni the whole day trying to finish off my assignment. My ability to remember things is indeed pretty shocking haha.. But still i want to thank God for a good day that's He's given me, and for just blessing me, and protecting me. There's still a few things that i need to seek God for because i don't even know what to do or think, because i really just want His will to be done and not mine. I learnt that every action that i do, not only i get affected by it, but those around me as well. So if i want to avoid harming or hurting those around me, i want to make sure that the decisions and choices i make will be the best possible one, and ones that are from God.
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